In our adult life, we have all met people who are self-entitled and irresponsible. Of course, no one is perfect and everyone has some fault, but people without any idea of responsibility are among the most irritating. I often wondered how people could be raised to be so self-entitled. When I became a parent, I saw the other side of the problem. It is difficult to raise a child to be responsible and independent. Here are some tips to ensuring your child learns the importance of being responsible.
Set boundaries
Children don’t understand boundaries and it can be so tough to enforce them. When they want to come into your bed at night, when they want to eat a bite of your food, when they want to talk to you while you are in the middle of a conversation, how can you say no to these beautiful creatures?
The key is to make it clear what items are their responsibility. Dinner is a great example. For too many meals I was always collecting up the dishes after we ate. Now, I let them know that this is something they have to do. For the first few times, I asked them to do it, after that, I stopped asking. Occasionally they left their plates and forgot, but I left them there too. Later I simply told them the consequences of leaving dirty plates out (it can attract bugs and become tougher to clean). Once they understood they started to bring their plates (almost) every time.
Don’t remind them
Once you inform your child of something that needs to be done, don’t nag them or repeat yourself. They need to understand that once you ask them to do something it becomes their responsibility.
The best example of this is bedtime. No child wants to go to sleep when they know their parents are still awake. They will always battle bedtime. However, you shouldn’t have to beg them to abide by the rules you have set. Instead, incentivize them.
My children love to be tucked in and have a bedtime story. They now know that bedtime stories start at 8.30 pm. If they are not ready for the story then they don’t get one that night. You will find they quickly take on this responsibility and don’t miss another bedtime.
Teach charity
So many people in the world today are selfish. This is because we don’t teach charity as a base responsibility to our children. Start showing them how being charitable is expected of them from an early age and they will carry this action forward with them for life.
If they need five dollars for something (a snack etc), give them six and teach them to give it to someone who needs it. As they get older you can explain a smart way to approach charity but while they are young they just need to learn that for everything they have they should give a little bit to someone who needs it.
Positive Reinforcement
Children will show responsible behavior many times throughout a day without even realizing it. If their shoe comes untied they may try and tie it themselves (even if they are unable). Make sure you encourage this type of behavior so that they start to associate responsibility with praise.
The good thing is that this is something that will set them apart for life. If they continue to show responsibility throughout their life they will be successful in life and work. Find ways to tell your kids how much you appreciate the effort they are making in different areas.